How did I get here?

 Hello dear reader, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would write publicly but I guess here I am :)

Writing has always been a magical way of just letting my feelings flow, I've never been good at expressing myself verbally (emotionally talking) so writing was always my way of just letting it go, I can't describe the relief I always feel every time I just write everything I feel and I let my hands take control of everything. I used to write all the time in my teenager days, pages and pages until 2 in the morning just releasing myself from anything that could be causing me pain, stress or sadness.

I have a shoe box full of pages written by me, then my dad gave me a safe box to put them inside. I never let anyone read it and I never read anything twice because from my perspective I was leaving everything in that paper and moving on. One day, I just decided to give the box to my dad so he could read everything, maybe that would help him understand a little bit more a few things about me.

I stopped writing at some point, I guess life got in between my pen and paper. A lot of things changed for me and then one day I found myself having an anxiety attack at 1am at my boyfriend's apartment, then I understood I was not ok..

See, I've always been a very proud person, I don't like to talk about my feelings, I don't like to ask for help, I don't like to admit that I am not ok. When I first started my relationship with this boyfriend (now husband) I was going through one of the hardest changes in my life and I decided that I would deal with everything by myself because at the end it was my decision and no one but me had to deal with the consequences. 

So after a very intense year of feeling fear, sadness, struggling a lot emotionally I decided it was time to start writing again..

You're probably wondering, what does this have to do with the title of this blog? Well..it has everything to do with it..and I will start explaining little by little, I will take this opportunity as a chance to find myself again and do something that it's completely mine.

Thanks for reading, see you soon..